Choosing to Feel Love & When To Be Honest with Yourself

Before I start, I will say something that I have said before.  This is my opinion.  I am open & very accepting of feedback & discussion.  You are entitled to your opinion as well, and I would love to hear it!  However, I do not want to engage in a negative debate over it.  Opinions are just that, opinions!  And we are off..!


   We all stumble sometimes, as we are creating our life story.  Have you ever been at a point in life where you were being walked all over, constantly disrespected or possibly abused?.. but, you loved someone so much that you didn’t know how to leave?  Or possibly, you even believed you couldn’t leave because, you’d never love someone this much again..something to that effect?  I’m not talking about occassional arguements or someone losing their temper once in a blue moon.  No one is perfect.  We’re all human and we all make mistakes sometimes.  It is unrealistic to think that you could go your whole life without disappointing someone or visa versa.  None of us are perfect.  However, many of us, men and women alike, are disrespected and treated like a sub-humans, everyday.  And sadly, this is sometimes by someone we love deeply, and probably made the decision to love.

   I’d like to take this opportunity to try to give you a different point of view on this ‘love‘ thing.  In my learning years, here on Earth, I’ve picked up a few things.  This is something that I feel, helped me GREATLY.  Understanding that love is a choice and lying to yourself isn’t always a bad thing.  And just because, you chose to love someone and that didn’t work out, doesn’t mean there is anything wrong with you or your decision making skills.  Like previously stated, we’re human.  Everything we do, isn’t always ‘right’. or doesn’t always work out.  Tis life.


   I truly believe that love is more of a choice that you make, than a feeling.  I am not discrediting love or saying it is any less special..I just think it is more of a choice.  And, in my opinion, that makes it all the worlds more special than something you have no control over.  Be that as it may, it seems that it could also benefit you in a heart break or poor domestic situation if you would accept it as such.  A choice.  A decision you made.  Instead of using it to jusitfy whatever is wrong.  Please, just hear me out. 

   I do agree to an extent that you ‘can’t help’ how you feel.  It is hard to change your feelings but, it is not impossible.  The facts of the matter are…that if you lie to yourself enough; yes, yes you can.

   That sounds bad and you are probably looking at that ‘X’ box on the top right, just waiting to click it because, you think that I am nuts.  But, that’s not so.  Just give me this chance to explain myself further.

   Now, let me be clear.  I am not telling you to go live in a dream world that you create in your head.  I’m not saying that you should constantly lie to yourself, so you feel like something you did/said/etc. is better/different from what is really going on.  I am simply saying, that if your mental state (or physical, any state of you) depends on it, you can use it to your advantage to positively alter your moods/thoughts/life. Sometimes we let ourselves become so blinded, that we literally have to lie to ourselves, in order to be able to be real to ourselves.

Example of how decieving yourself can be good:

At one point in my life, I was on the verge of full on depression.  One day, I decided that I would start waking up every morning, go to the mirror, look in it & say, “Tiffani, you’re awesome and happy and life is GREAT!”

   That may sound lame to you.  But, guess what?  I thought it was super lame also.  I felt stupid damn near everytime that I did it.  But, I was desperate.  And then something crazy happened…  I woke up one morning and realized, “Wow.  I can’t remember the last time I was in a terrible mood or had a horrible day.”

Point at hand: It worked.  Now, back to my original point…

(I also want to point out that these two topics go hand-in-hand.  This is because, if you do not love yourself, you can not truly love someone else nor can you recognize & be truly honest with yourself about what you deserve.  Mostly because, you probably don’t think you actually deserve better.)

I do believe that when you are in love with someone, it’s hard to walk away.  However, that does not mean that you did not make a choice to love them.

   You choose who you give a chance, what you put up with, & to stay or to go. .

Life is all about creating yourself, not finding yourself. No one hid you from yourself.  ONLY YOU control your life. So, love all you can, be happy, & don’t run away from love for no reason. Finding REAL people is rare. But, know when you deserve better. It’s hard, will find a person as good as you. No one said it was easy, they just said it would be worth it, right?