Choosing to Feel Love & When To Be Honest with Yourself


Before I start, I will say something that I have said before.  This is my opinion.  I am open & very accepting of feedback & discussion.  You are entitled to your opinion as well, and I would love to hear it!  However, I do not want to engage in a negative debate over it.  Opinions are just that, opinions!  And we are off..!

 

   We all stumble sometimes, as we are creating our life story.  Have you ever been at a point in life where you were being walked all over, constantly disrespected or possibly abused?.. but, you loved someone so much that you didn’t know how to leave?  Or possibly, you even believed you couldn’t leave because, you’d never love someone this much again..something to that effect?  I’m not talking about occassional arguements or someone losing their temper once in a blue moon.  No one is perfect.  We’re all human and we all make mistakes sometimes.  It is unrealistic to think that you could go your whole life without disappointing someone or visa versa.  None of us are perfect.  However, many of us, men and women alike, are disrespected and treated like a sub-humans, everyday.  And sadly, this is sometimes by someone we love deeply, and probably made the decision to love.

   I’d like to take this opportunity to try to give you a different point of view on this ‘love‘ thing.  In my learning years, here on Earth, I’ve picked up a few things.  This is something that I feel, helped me GREATLY.  Understanding that love is a choice and lying to yourself isn’t always a bad thing.  And just because, you chose to love someone and that didn’t work out, doesn’t mean there is anything wrong with you or your decision making skills.  Like previously stated, we’re human.  Everything we do, isn’t always ‘right’. or doesn’t always work out.  Tis life.

 

   I truly believe that love is more of a choice that you make, than a feeling.  I am not discrediting love or saying it is any less special..I just think it is more of a choice.  And, in my opinion, that makes it all the worlds more special than something you have no control over.  Be that as it may, it seems that it could also benefit you in a heart break or poor domestic situation if you would accept it as such.  A choice.  A decision you made.  Instead of using it to jusitfy whatever is wrong.  Please, just hear me out. 

   I do agree to an extent that you ‘can’t help’ how you feel.  It is hard to change your feelings but, it is not impossible.  The facts of the matter are…that if you lie to yourself enough; yes, yes you can.

   That sounds bad and you are probably looking at that ‘X’ box on the top right, just waiting to click it because, you think that I am nuts.  But, that’s not so.  Just give me this chance to explain myself further.

   Now, let me be clear.  I am not telling you to go live in a dream world that you create in your head.  I’m not saying that you should constantly lie to yourself, so you feel like something you did/said/etc. is better/different from what is really going on.  I am simply saying, that if your mental state (or physical, any state of you) depends on it, you can use it to your advantage to positively alter your moods/thoughts/life. Sometimes we let ourselves become so blinded, that we literally have to lie to ourselves, in order to be able to be real to ourselves.

Example of how decieving yourself can be good:

At one point in my life, I was on the verge of full on depression.  One day, I decided that I would start waking up every morning, go to the mirror, look in it & say, “Tiffani, you’re awesome and happy and life is GREAT!”

   That may sound lame to you.  But, guess what?  I thought it was super lame also.  I felt stupid damn near everytime that I did it.  But, I was desperate.  And then something crazy happened…  I woke up one morning and realized, “Wow.  I can’t remember the last time I was in a terrible mood or had a horrible day.”

Point at hand: It worked.  Now, back to my original point…

(I also want to point out that these two topics go hand-in-hand.  This is because, if you do not love yourself, you can not truly love someone else nor can you recognize & be truly honest with yourself about what you deserve.  Mostly because, you probably don’t think you actually deserve better.)

I do believe that when you are in love with someone, it’s hard to walk away.  However, that does not mean that you did not make a choice to love them.

   You choose who you give a chance, what you put up with, & to stay or to go. .

Life is all about creating yourself, not finding yourself. No one hid you from yourself.  ONLY YOU control your life. So, love all you can, be happy, & don’t run away from love for no reason. Finding REAL people is rare. But, know when you deserve better. It’s hard, but..you will find a person as good as you. No one said it was easy, they just said it would be worth it, right?

A Friendly Reminder.


To busy to listen. To uninvolved to care. Quick to judge..but, hesitant to take just a few minutes to try to understand. That’s what’s wrong with some people today. Some may not even realize it.
This is just a friendly reminder:

Open your eyes. Open your ears. Open your heart. Close your mouth.

Try this for 30 minutes today and see if you don’t end up having a different point of view about something. Hell, you may not. But, why not be open minded and give it a shot?

Who knows what you could end up doing or becoming to someone as the result?! You may even change a life. Possibly, your own.

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What I learned in 2012. Yes, 2012.


This is a some-what older post. I originally posted this on December 17, 2012 onto my Facebook feed.

I just felt like reflecting back & sharing it with all of you. Also, it makes me think of my brother, and that is always nice.

Dec 17, 2012 near Morbihan, LA
As 2012 is coming to a close..I figured I’d reflect back on things I’ve learned this year..here’s 100 of the millions of things that I have learned in 2012! If you don’t feel like reading 100 of them..then don’t. K?Thanks,bye(:

1) I hate doing perms. And they stink.
2) It’s easier to cut hair on a person, than it is on a mannequin.
3) I love Science Channel. And I love Space.
4) I can survive the worst thing that could ever happen to me. I know, because, I did. RIP Martini, I love you! Bff
5) I still forking love eggs & bacon.
6) You can bleach your hair so much that it can literally be stained by hair color.
7) You can bleach you hair so much, that it will no longer hold color at all.
8) Cutting hair.
9) How to make a chair, jewelry holder, & multiple other things from one baby crib.
10) I love repurposing things. DIY for life!
11) I’m pretty talented.
12) I have a lot to offer.
13) I want babies soon.
14) Did I mention how much I love eggs & bacon?
15) I have the weirdest/best boyfriend, bestfriends, & dogs in the universe.
16) I’m good at painting on walls:P
17)fishtail braid
18) I Finally found someone who loves me, as much as I love them. And shows it. Soulmate♥
19) You can mix purple hair color with the wrong white additive & your hair will end up mint green.
20) I can have whatever hair color I want.
21) My clothes don’t need to match. People think I’m cool anyway.
22) people love how weird & honest I am.
23) moving is a lot of work. moving 3 times in a year in a half….yeah
24) I hate driving to and inside of Lafayette.
25) Some commercials are worth the show stopping.
26) Color is my second language.
27) you can make blankets without sewing anything.
28) People like to give me stuff.
29) I’m doing a good job at this karma thing.
30) zebras dancing with wolves.
31) you can make a curtain from almost ANYTHING.
32) I still hate auto correct. But, I still won’t turn it off.
33) I simply can’t own a purse or wallet for over 6 months without breaking it in some way.
34) I will still use a purse or wallet, broken, for like 6 months.
35) I hate doing dishes more than I thought. And I already thought I hated it a lot.
36) sponge bob was originally intended to be an adult cartoon.
37) My brother is freaking popular.
38) Real friends are always there when it matters. No matter what.
39) My boyfriend rocks.
40) I use a lot of toilet paper.
41) Watercolors.
42) Pine needles catch on fire VERY quickly.
43) People steal Epson Salt. I shit you not.
44) We found that snickers btw.
45) We drink a lot of milk.
46) people like pictures of ANYTHING.
47) I think that people think I’m entertaining?
48) Ramen noodle everything.
49) Boudin at Earl’s is boss.
50) it can take like an hour for a 9 month old to successfully have sex with Maxi.
51) Maxi is into chihuahuas.
52) I had forgot about the Taco Bell dog.
53) I will have a love child with Lava Sauce.
54) I’m smarter than I thought.
55) Apparently, I will be a good mom.
56) You can miss someone so much that it hurts.
57) I cook good.
58) Smash cake. I shouldn’t need to say more.
59) The best day of the year is the day before Valentine’s(:
60) Now, I know what real love feels like.
61) I rhyme on accident A LOT.
62) I can’t be normal.
63) I don’t want to be either.
64) people can tell when I don’t take my medicine.
65) I want a new dish washer.
66) Josh loves cheese just as much as I do.
67) Josh & I make a pretty good team.
68) I have so. Many. Ideas.
69) I’m extremely initiative.
70) I work pretty well under pressure…usually.
71) You digest food faster laying in your left side.
72) it’s not hard for me to think of random things.
73) you wouldn’t survive a day in my brain.
74) My feet have gotten bigger..they were already pretty big.
75) people are nuts.
76) I believe in the Law of Attraction.
77) Garlic everything.
78) Nenard Brother’s has gangster chicken salad.
79) It’s not that hard to make donuts.
80) Surprisingly, I’m a pretty deep person.
81) I care about others A LOT..almost too much sometimes.
82) I have mastered unconditional love.
83) Family is family. Blood make you related. Loyalty makes you family. Family will be there forrrrevvverr.
84) I still know almost every word to Half Baked.
85) I need a car.
86) I don’t like not having a job.
87) Depending on other’s sucks.
88) But, I’m incredibly grateful and know I’m bless to have someone to depend on when I need it most.
89) I like to do hood rat things.
90) I NEED curtains.
91) You find the best people when and where you least expect to.
92) Dogs are people too, lol.
93) Napoleon & Hitler only ha one testicle.
94) Gloves without fingers are useful.
95) A picture is worth way more than a 1,000 words.
96) Speak out, even if you feel like no one is listening. The right people always hear you if they’re supposed to.
97) Really happiness isn’t getting what you want. It’s wanting what you have.
98) No one can make you happy if you aren’t happy with yourself.
99) Sometimes there’s just nothing you can do besides be there. And that’s ok. Put 110% into that.
100) Like fingerprints, everyone’s tongue prints are different.

Tom Attwater Is Dying. His Daughter Might Die, Too. The Letter He Left For Her Is Unforgettable.


This is beautiful. It had me balling like a baby. Please help this man if you can! Pass along, if nothing else!

Kindness Blog

Tom Attwater is dying of a brain tumor, but he isn’t worried about his cancer. Instead, he is trying to save his 5 year-old daughter from her own.

tom attwater Tom Attwater with daughter Kelli and wife Joely

He has vowed to raise approximately $820,200.00 for her cancer treatment, even if he wouldn’t be around to see her go through it.

Now Tom is almost half way to his fundraising target he is more adamant than ever to reach it. Tragically his deadline is short as his latest scans show his brain tumour is growing.

He says: “These days people make bucket lists, and the very top of mine – the one that matters most – is raising money to make sure Kelli gets the medical help she might need.

Tom attwater

“Some people have advised me to slow down and concentrate on enjoying the rest of my days. But how can I knowing…

View original post 1,700 more words

Happiness is Free(:


I’m antsy. I’m nervous. I’m different. I’m loud.
Sometimes I am a little out there. I lose track of time and I have virtually no attention span. I am indecisive and I often speak, before I think.

I went from trusting no one; to trusting too easily. I forget everything & nothing goes ungoogled. My feet are big, my eyes are small, & I am no longer 100% sure what my natural hair color is.
I am not perfect and I do not expect anyone else to be.

Things never go exactly how you would like them to. Enjoy the version you are given & have faith that it is the best one. (How would you know the difference anyway? Hehe)

I can’t remember what I did five minutes ago. I don’t know what will happen tomorrow; nor do I care.
All I know is that I am exactly where I want to be.

No matter who you are or what you think is ‘wrong’ with you; only you, can make you happy.

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Life Lessons: Part I


These are just a few things I have learned about life thus far:

1. It isn’t perfect. That’s right. It’s just like you and I. Full of flaws.
2. You need to have goals, but you should never rely on plans.
Which brings me to my next lesson..
3. Expect the unexpected…and expect a sh*t ton of the expected.
4. Don’t take for granted the little things, one day, they may be all you have..one day you may be fighting to keep them because, it’s all you have left.
5. Forgive easily, but never, ever, forget. But, don’t dwell. MoveOn is the best medicine, right under laughter.
6. I’ve learned happiness.
7. I’ve learned to be well-rounded.
8. How to love.
9. To find more beauty in imperfections, rather than visa versa; which is ideal.
10. We’re all human, & somethings..we just can’t help.
A. Love but, you can draw the line at respect.
B. You can’t help but ‘judge’ people to a certain extent, so try to keep a positive outlook when meeting them & an open mind afterward; you may let one of the potentially best people in your life slip by.

11. And finally, I’ve learned that no matter what your hard head wants to believe, everything is a little give AND a little take..
I don’t believe anything is going to fall in your lap and you’ll never have to work for it; but, I do believe in Fate.